Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
