Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
