i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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