Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
