i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
