he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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