I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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