That's intense
Are we in a gay sports bar?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
