First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
