Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
