they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
