flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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