This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
