For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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