Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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