this boner is exhausting
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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