I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
