I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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