Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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