i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
