white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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