He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
