The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They took my balls.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
