Slut skills are useful in every country.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
