i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
