I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
