that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
