I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
