I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In other news, I just burned my penis
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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