i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
