I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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