Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
