You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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