the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
