Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
