Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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