i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
