So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
