And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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