she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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