I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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