Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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