how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
