Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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