i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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