I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
