I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
