she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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