Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
