batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
