Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
