summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
even my farts smell like vagina
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
